You Can Be Happy, But Then You Don’t Want To….
Photos by Asdrubal Luna on Unsplash
How it happened I know not. But there she was thinking; no scratch that, believing, that it will all be worth it when she finally gets married.
In marriage, she will be cherished, loved, cared for, and pampered, so much that all the heartaches, disappointments, depressions, and sadness will melt into a huge lump and get washed off into the sea of forgetfulness.
Surely, her chronic depression cannot survive the beauty of her imagined picture-perfect union.
Two years later, she walked down the aisle. Phew! Finally, she can now relax and enjoy life and all it has to offer.
But guess what, the euphoria of the conjugal knot lasted for just a couple of months. By month three, she was back to her therapist for counseling and the doctor for yet another antidepressant prescription.
How often do we unconsciously, sometimes even consciously build a thought pattern and a belief system that our happiness is consequent upon the occurrence of a certain desired event?
This is why: when Melissa’s boyfriend dumped her and hooked up with her slim coursemate, she postponed her happiness till she wins the fight over obesity and begins to wear a size six.
Why Brian upon checking his mailbox today and realizing that something has got to give or he’d have to file for bankruptcy, decides to delete the word fun from his dictionary till he makes a few thousand dollars.
Why Ashley after two years of being married, having no positive pregnancy test to show, despite how much she wants and tries to have a baby, puts on a worrying cap vowing never to remove same till she has a baby to call her own.
The blunt truth we however have refused to accept is that nothing and no one can make you happy but yourself.
Granted, the occurrence of these long-awaited events has the ability to make us happy and gay, but they like Cinderella have no choice but to take a flight by midnight.
Postponing your happiness till you reach that goal or make that mark is like dreaming of a box office highly rated movie, only to attend the premier and realize it was all but a waste of time.
It is tantamount to leaving your chance at happiness to providence which believe me is bereft of empathy, logic, or the ability to know when it is your turn.
Realize that happiness is within you.
Learn to embrace your imperfections. Change them if you can, but if not, love them and cherish them. No one is perfect after all.
Study yourself like you would study that important college course.
Discover yourself by yourself and love what you find. Engage in things that make you happy, contented, and satisfied. The most successful people, research has shown, are people who amongst other things structure and pursue activities that produce pleasure and satisfaction.
The reason why people treat you like crap is because they feel those vibes of self-worthlessness and depreciation you obliviously send to them.
Happiness is by choice, not a product of chance or providence. And it begins with first realizing that no one and nothing can make you happy but yourself.
Take that trip, buy that dress, give that smile, receive that compliment, and love yourself.
We only live and die once. Yea, I know some persons believe in re-incarnation, no qualms, everybody is entitled to his/her own belief system (I sure do have my own `ridiculous’ ones).
However, the belief that I and only I have the copyright and the legal right to live in my body and live my life has taught me the need to maximize every single moment of it.
I will be happy now!
