It Was Never Meant To Last Forever
4 Tips To Help stabilize Your pendulous Emotions
‘I love you' she said to him suddenly in a husky voice he had only heard in his dreams. This was the very first proclamation.
He had almost given up on hearing her say those words, words he had said to her just 3weeks upon meeting her.
Giving the inquisitive waitress a generous tip, he guided her out of their cozy ensconce. Their he kissed her goodnight and strutted out to pick a taxi, wishing the mushy feelings swimming through him would never end.
He was up early for work, not because he loved what he did, he actually hated it ( don’t tell his boss), but because the dreams that came visiting last night were evocative reminders of things he’d rather do to and do with Natasha.
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Alighting from the taxi in front of the company’s edifice, he hummed his way into the entrance. For reasons he could not explain he found himself smiling in greeting to the surprised receptionist. Wow, how come he was just noticing the toothy grin of the young mother.
Shortly before 2pm, his beeping phone distracted him from the pile of files that had held his attention hostage for the past couple of hours.
It was the company’s secretary, informing him of his promotion and consequent pay raise. Could it get any better? He was on cloud nine.
Back home. Reclining on the couch, he texted her. A beep. Her reply? His pulse quickened. No, it was a debit alert from his bank for a transaction he knew nothing about. He cursed.
Two hours later, he checked his phone for the umpteenth time. No response. Maybe she’s busy.
A call to her at 9pm went unanswered. Restless, but taking a forbearance pill and a vow at patience, he decided to go to bed.
Queued up the next day at his favorite restaurant for breakfast, he waited patiently for his orders, promising not to take further surreptitious glances at his wrist watch.
Unfortunately, the young sassy waitress had earlier made a covenant with the devil to piss him off. After a few minutes of trying to make her see reasons with him, he walked out of the god forsaken restaurant with the words ‘crazy *f*ing bastard' still ringing in his ears.
By the time, a speeding truck splashed the innocent muddy water on his starched T-shirt as he alighted from the taxi, he needed no prophet to tell him he was in for a horrible day.
Was it just yesterday he felt like he was walking on cloud nine? Or were those memories the product of a brain transplant?
Like a balloon encountering the fury of a sharp edged surface, what was left of his optimism boarded a flight. Needless to say, he was in for yet another depressing day.
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Such is the daily experience of a soul with an unbalanced emotion. Take a session with a dear old psychologist, and she will take you through sessions teaching you to deny, intensify, curtail, mask, weaken or completely ignore certain feelings as a way to regulate your internal and external reactions to circumstances.
These methods no doubt have had their successful moments, but unluckily never worked on me.
As an introvert, I have had my fair share of heart-busting and grin-widening exhilarating moments which were strangely followed by amazingly depressing moments.
However, I have over time found four things that aided me in my quest to rise above a pendulous emotion and put the much desired stability to my feelings as well as gain mastery in my disposition and reaction to circumstances.
- Be Aware:
Change as is commonly said, is constant. So it is almost an act of folly or delusion to think that a particular feeling, usually excitement will last forever.
Craps do happen. So the best counter measure will be to prepare yourself mentally with the knowledge that a ‘happenstance' can happen.
This is not an advice to wear your heart in hand waiting for that wet blanket moment, but a call to reality.
2. Reflect:
I have learned to take retrospective moments during or after an incident to ponder and take stock of positive and negative emotions.
This method allows me to tell myself the truth, and so when I am wrong, I mentally own up to my wrong doing and when I am right, I give myself a thumbs up.
By so doing, I prevent my emotions from skillfully waylaying me and leading me unprepared, down a path I’d rather not visit.
3. Feel:
Having reflected on my emotions and my previous reaction to a circumstance, I allow myself to be washed over with the pain of a rebuke and chastisement when I am wrong or the peaceful contentment flowing from a thumbs up when I did right.
It is important that you do not stifle these emotions, repress nor suppress them.
Allow them wash over you with the baggage they come bearing with them. Sort them out carefully. These processed thoughts and feelings are what determines eventually the state of our moods upon the occurrence of an event.
In the Movie: The Accountant, I watched as J. K. Simmons in the very first scene of the movie, when he was waylaid by the accountant, though earlier scared for his life, found the boldness to tell the Accountant that though he was a lousy cop, he was however certainly a good father.
That was not a spur of the moment statement, but one which came with assurance from a previous reflection and a consequent processing of that piece of info.
4. Move on:
Feeling these emotions and shipping them mentally into the right compartment prepares you for the next step. Moving on.
Doing these have saved me from the emotional crises of walking on heavens street one moment and finding myself sharing an apartment in hell the next. You can do likewise…
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